JOSHUA HORSE

[urikochan94]

My OC's name is Joshua Horse. A 21-year old student. He's a bubbly guy who is apparently the class clown.

Gah, I'm not much of a creative person, so his origin might seem similar to Susan's.

His ability roots from a rare intergalactic material, Magentonate. The name itself explains its characteristics. It pulsates with a magenta glow and it is able to detonate. Absorbed into Joshua's hands, Magentonate supplies explosive power to Joshua, but it could only be activated by the sense of touch on his fingertips.

Joshua is able to grant explosive attributes to any object he touches with his fingertips, meaning, any object he touches will explode over time. For some reason, Joshua is unable to transfer explosive attributes to glass, fiberglass, or any silicone-based items.

He wears special gloves made of fiberglass to avoid any unwanted mishap. But this also causes his punches to be enhanced, because since the explosive energy could not be discharged, it increases the strength of his punches. Even so, his stamina, mortality, or kicking strength is not enhanced. However, Joshua has resistance against fire and heat but only to a certain extent.

Magentonate is basically a parasite. It releases or discharges explosive energy spontaneously if the host, Joshua, is injured. The degree of injury is directly proportional to the degree of energy released. Magentonate is also affected by the hosts emotion. Negative emotions accumulate energy. It can be controlled or neutralized with positive emotion, mainly, love.

Gah. I talk too much.

If you have any hesitations on my facts, do inform me.

[Baycrum]

^Interesting!

[urikochan94]

Oct 18, 2009 20:01:41 GMT -5 Baycrum said:

^Interesting!

thank you!

[Blackboxx]

Sounds familiar... Like... Gambit. Which isn't a bad thing. Lord knows, Gambit is my favorite superhero character of all time. The glowing, the exploding, and the gloves (though Gambit keeps two fingers uncovered to use his power).

But... The true value of a character is in their... well... character! How he acts, reacts, thinks, what he says, and that sort of stuff. You can have the most unoriginal plot, but if it's told well, and doesn't rely on that sense of familiarity to make sense ("he's hell bent on revenge, just like every other hero that got powers from an experiment gone wrong" for example), you can make it endearing.

Just always ask yourself "why is this character doing this?" If you come up with an overused answer, you should rethink it. I'll use your character to illustrate what I mean. Say you want him to be searching for a way to reverse his condition. It's a common theme amongst newly transformed super humans (Ginormica, anyone?). Why? "Because he wants to be normal" is a boring reason, even if it's realistic. It's just overdone, but even worse, it's too vague. A lot of people want to be normal. Why is it special when he wants it?

A better answer would be to make up something. Let's say the transfer of the explodey energy is painful. He doesn't want his power because it hurts to use it, and he has to walk around with fiberglass gloves. Fiberglass itself it pretty dangerous. It is what its name suggests; glass, just in a different form. Inhale too much, and you can cut the inside of your lungs. There's also the destructive potential of his power. What if he hurts someone he cares for? What if he destroys something he has been building for quite some time? These things themselves are also overdone, so be careful.

All in all, I'd say the mechanics of the character are fine. Just work on character motivation, and possibly a lesson or two he should learn.

By the way, sorry if this criticism is late. I only recently gained the capability to resume activity on this board. I just wanted to comment on your character simply because he resembles my favorite so much.

[urikochan94]

yes, i realize that his history was practically ripped-off Susan's. TT^TT
but i tried.

the reason i created him is to display a "new" ability i had in mind. but apparently, someone did it already. XDD

anyway, i fully respect your opinion, and i agree with it. i appreciate that you spent some time to comment on my OC! many thanks!

[Blackboxx]

Don't misunderstand. Even if you take an idea that's been done to death, it's possible to make it feel original. It's all in the character reaction (arguably the most important part of a character). Like I said, Gambit is hands down, my all time favorite superhero. I'm happy to finally see someone use a similar idea. Besides, you made your OC different enough. Gambit is a trickster, and an ex-thief. That's not the same as a class clown. I guess the difference is who the audience is supposed to laugh at; the victim, or the joker. Also, Gambit doesn't have that emotional retaliation that your character has. Focus on that aspect, and you can make him very enjoyable without drawing too much of a comparison.